Day 100: Life Goes On

A and I are currently watching a classical concert featuring the music of Astor Piazzolla. We are both fans of tango. He dances it, while I appreciate the music. I am lucky that we were able to buy tickets and that A is here to experience tango music live. There is nothing quite like it.

I am happy to reach the end of my 100 Day Project inside the Ayala Museum, where the concert is being held. I am glad that I have made the commitment to write about my life for 100 Days. I have met some indescribable challenges in my career and health, but I somehow made it work through blogging. I carried on with my life while making it a point to write about my experiences.

My journey has taught me to appreciate my family, friends, and most especially, A. As I approach my thirty-first birthday and jobhunting, I know that I am truly blessed. I will keep on writing, even if the challenge has already ended. After all, I have only just begun.

Day 98: Life Goes On

Yesterday, I turned down a job offer. I had a phone interview with a multinational company, but I realized that I was not the right fit for the job. They were looking for someone who is knowledgeable in network systems. I am not an IT expert, and while I sound good on the phone, I do not think that will translate to effective systems work unless I am given proper training, which the company cannot shoulder. I realized that I should never sell myself short, because I can still find a better job out there.

I had a vermicelli bowl at Pho Hoa for lunch. It was glorious. It was a welcome respite for this day, as my friend cancelled on our get-together due to an illness. I then decided to push through with my day and just enjoy it. I rode the train while it is not rush hour. I roamed around a mall I hardly get to visit. I just wandered and took a break. It was relaxing and I ended up enjoying myself. 

I may not have work but that does not meant that I should be bored at wit's end. Life goes on. It is up to me to make it better, one day at a time. 

Day 96: Upside-Down

I recently resigned from my job due to circumstances beyond my control. My routine has been turned upside-down. Suddenly, I am spending more time at home and dependent on my small savings. I am focusing on reading and working out when I am not looking for a new job. Having said that, I realized today that I am more fortunate to be jobless than to be stuck in limbo. Being obliged to follow uncertain directives can only lead to panic, worrying, and demoralizing days. I am better off taking a break rather than being sad. 

I may not have a job right now, but I am able to improve myself through reading and blogging. By working out, I am managing my hypothyroidism. My family and A are supportive of me, so I know I am not alone. Life may be upside-down right now, but I am lucky that things are all looking up. All it takes is optimism and gratefulness in order to appreciate what I have right now, and what I will still become in the future. 

Day 94: Closure

I am claiming my clearance today. The finality of everything is hitting me, and I could not be happier. I want nothing more than to move on from the pain, the anger, and the state of being stuck. It is unhealthy to hold on to these negative emotions, and it will only pull me back. I cannot afford to have bad vibes. I want to be open to better opportunities and there is no greater feeling than having closure. 

I will be wiser moving forward when it comes to jobhunting. I will make sure to ask questions and be stronger in standing my ground. I will continue being loyal to my loved ones and once there are questionable factors, I will discern whether they are worth fighting for. I am worth more than the heavy price of uncertainty. I am worth the closure.  

Day 91: Moving On

I am currently moving on from a traumatic experience in my previous employer. While I promised myself that I will never look back in anger, I allowed my true feelings to surface and eventually, dissipate. After all, it is healthier to acknowledge one's true emotions rather than just let them kill me deep inside.

I spent my previous week working out and catching up on sleep. This week is a time for reading and more workouts. There is something about burning calories that puts things into perspective. I also like relating to the characters I read about. They make seem moving on possible because they have done so in beautiful prose.

A friend yesterday messaged me to encourage me to enjoy my break because as adults, we rarely get free days when we are tied up with work. I am grateful that she messaged me because it makes me see my unemployment in a new light. At the same time, A is telling me not to be desperate and that I am in charge of my own journey. I will keep moving on until I get to the place where movement is no longer a forced endeavor.

Day 75: Determination

I workout everyday because I have to. Having hypothyroidism has forced me to take a stand on fitness, and I chose to defy my condition the right way. I did not resort to crash diets or questionable pills. I decided that going slow but steady is key to developing good fitness habits that can support me throughout my life.  

My determination comes from a simple motivation to be the healthiest version of myself, for myself. That way, I can ensure that I am giving myself the best that I can be and I can pass it on to the ones I love. Indeed, self-love can sustain a girl with a chronic hormonal condition.  

If I can be determined to push myself, I am sure that you can do this too! 

Day 69: On the Hunt

I am currently jobhunting again. I resigned from my job because the program I am managing is going to eventually be dissolved. With no job security and a futile marketing plan, I have decided to end my tenure before things get more complicated. I am ending my stay here on a high note, with experience in setting up events and managing our incoming enrollment system. I am just rendering my transition period. 

I do not want to be bitter because life really throws you unpredictable curveballs, especially when you least excpect it. Good thing I trained myself to have a growth mindset and decided when enough is enough. I am not going to freeload myself in a program that is not going to last. Rather, I will plot my growth elsewhere, and I will exit my current position gracefully. 

I am thankful to have the chance to work in IT. I have built my website and began blogging during my stay here. I have taken the initiative to relearn writing during my downtime. I have also found my voice and rediscovered my unique style. Lastly, I learned to embrace my hypothyroidism and used my condition as a springboard for everything that I want to celebrate in life. 

I am optimistic that the future will be kinder to me. I am ensuring this by continuing my blog and wishing my department well. I hope to also stumble upon opportunities for growth and earning. It is my prayer that it will it take long for me before I can find a suitable job soon.  

Day 65: Hypothyroidism Pain Points at Work

Sunlight 🌞 

As a hypothyroid patient, I was cleared by my endocrinologist to be fit to work. I have to be diligent with my diet and fitness routine, which are totally up to me. I also have to manage stress so I can cope and reduce the symptoms of my condition. 

I am sad and exasperated when managers do not realize that hypothyroidism does not make me incapable of handling work. Also, my responsibilities as a hypothyroid patient should not be seen as a hindrance. For instance, I am often required to eat with other staff and managers. I think this is unfair. The decision to eat with the team must also be left to me, and my choice to eat alone is due to the fact that I have a special diet. I cannot eat with other people because I do feel envious of their food. I cannot afford to cheat on my diet and I must focus on my fitness goals.

I am also disappointed when people make fun of my diet and my budget. I have to save money because maintenance medication and blood tests are expensive. I cannot keep up with everyone else just because I am mindful of my expenses. To require that from me is plain mean. 

Working with hypothyroidism is possible. It just takes a LOT of compassion and understanding. I also hope that companies will educate their staff about it so there will be less bullying and alienation. 

I also hope that as I continue along my journey as an employee and job seeker, I will be able to represent my hypothyroidism well. Rather than seeing it as a limitation, I view it as a discipline. My dieting, exercise regimen, and stress management are all key factors in becoming a balanced worker. I am sure employers will value my condition if seen from that perspective.